Namimori's Mafia Boss
by Byakuzee
Summary: I didn't choose the Mafia life, the Mafia life chose me. [Follows the canon story-line].
1. Chapter 1

So this fic will be from Tsuna's first POV. Because his life is kind of hilarious with the way he describes it. There will be one OC though, but he won't play that major of role.

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**Namimori's Mafia Boss**

Entry One: My Life Generally Sucks

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James Hopper, a thirty two year old man and an aspiring writer, realized how utterly screwed he was one night when he was taking a peaceful stroll throughout the streets of one Namimori town.

No matter how much he thought, he couldn't get the plot of his story going.

He tried, oh God did he try, but nothing worked. His publishers would soon bound to get fed up with him, after all, putting up with three failed book series was enough. They only gave him this chance because he said that he was going to Japan in hopes of bringing something new and different to the table.

He was going to write a book inspired by the Japanese history, except, he didn't have any clue as to where to start.

This was James's last chance... and he had absolutely_ nothing._

_If only stories rained from the sky..._

As soon as he thought of that, something exploded far off and a notebook slammed right into his nose.

* * *

After he made sure that his nose wasn't broken, he took a look at the offending notebook that nearly cost him his most notable feature, totally intending not to return it and throw it in the nearest dumpster. The said notebook was peacefully settled on the ground with its first page open, looking as though it didn't make him scream in sheer agony just now.

Slightly curious, he picked it up to see what kind of a person its owner was (it should be noted that James already didn't have a good impression).

The first page contained some info on the owner, mainly that it was boy named Tsuna who was sixteen years old when he first bought this plain black notebook. There was nothing interesting in it really, but James was bored and he guessed it didn't harm to read more, he's always been too damn nosy.

So, he read on.

* * *

_Most people have this moment where they decide to stand up and start changing themselves, a moment where they get sick of their normal, boring and uninteresting lives and look for something exciting._

_I'm not one of those people._

_All I wanted in life was to live normally and peacefully and maybe someday marry the girl of my dreams._

_What I got instead was a baby hitman posing as my tutor telling me that I'll be a Mafia boss, who promptly started using sadistic means to make sure that I'll be an excellent and respected one._

_The sad thing was, this was only the start of a crazy life I didn't want anything to do with._

_I didn't choose the Mafia life, the Mafia life chose me._

* * *

James stared at the first entry for a while, asking himself about what the hell did he just read.

Slowly though, he started smiling.

_Stories did rain from the sky..._

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TBC

This is kinda werid, isn't it?


	2. Chapter 2

This will get updated almost daily, because the main story-line is kinda long.

Also, thank you for the kind reviews, I didn't expect to get anything so I'm really happy ;A;

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_Upon returning home, James took a quick shower and then went to read the what seemed to be a sixteen year old's odd journal hurriedly, his eyes shining with hope._

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**Namimori's Mafia Boss**

Entry Two: The Baby From Hell

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I thought the worst thing that could happen when my mom found out about my horrible grades was getting scolded.

Hello, I'm Tsuna and I'm kind of useless.

I got scolded but that wasn't the worst thing that happened that day.

No, the worst thing happened right after I got home from school.

Apparently, my mom got me a tutor. From a shady flyer that spouted utter nonsense.

A baby tutor.

A baby tutor wearing a suit and a fedora.

I looked at my mom in disbelief and then I looked at the baby, foolishly laughing and telling him to go home and find his mommy.

The baby kicked me in the loins and dragged me to my room.

After I regained conscious (that kick was painful, brutally_** painful**_), I saw that the baby was peacefully sleeping, looking like he couldn't hurt a fly.

But I knew better, so I woke him up by lifting him and pinching his cheeks.

Waking up, the baby took my tie and, with an impressive flip, slammed my back onto the floor.

Then the baby, named Reborn, told me that he didn't have any openings and that his line of work was assassination. In addition, he told me that he wanted to make me into the Vongola Mafia family's boss, because the current boss's sons died accidentally (someone murdered them) and I was the last resort; since my great great great grandfather was the family's first boss.

Yeah...

I asked him if his head felt alright and he threatened to shoot me.

This was the start of a beautiful bond.

I'm being sarcastic by the way.

* * *

So Reborn wouldn't go and took to following me on my way to school. A school that I wouldn't even go to if it weren't for Kyoko-chan's existence in this life (what? Do you really think that I liked that constant bullying?)

And speak about her, she was heading towards us.

Quickly, I hid in the nearest corner, hoping with all I had that she wouldn't notice me.

Reborn didn't hide though and just stared at her.

Kyoko-chan, being the cute, kind hearted and awesome person she was (I'm not fanboying), she cooed at the little devil, telling him how cute he looked in his mini suit (he kind of was but like hell I would admit that to him).

It was disheartening how Kyoko-chan liked that little brat, I mused as I watched her leaving, good naturedly waving goodbye at Reborn, who in return waved back at her saying something in Italian (oh, Reborn was Italian by the way, at least that's what he told me...)

Reborn turned towards me and grinned smugly. "Mafia seduction."

You're a baby, you shouldn't know anything about Mafia or seduction!

And then Reborn rubbed salt on the wound by asking me if I liked Kyoko-chan.

I didn't answer his question and that almost cost me my arm.

So, I gave in and told him that yes, I liked Kyoko-chan very much and that I'll forever be quiet about it because how could a useless guy like myself ask her out?

Reborn shot me.

_**"Reborn! I'm going to tell Sasagawa Kyoko how I feel with my dying will!"**_

And then my forehead was flaming and I was running through Namimori's streets completely naked save for my boxers.

I asked Kyoko-chan out while I was in that state and she, understandably, freaked out and ran away.

When I became sane again, Reborn told me that he shot me with a dying will bullet, a bullet that will resurrect a person after dying based on their regrets. I was regretting never telling Kyoko-chan about my feelings so it worked.

I asked him what would've happened if I wasn't regretting anything.

He casually told me that I was going to die for good.

By the way, all people in Namimori laughed at me.

My life is utterly fabulous, don't you think?

* * *

_James knew that he shouldn't laugh at the boy's misfortune, but it was really hard not to._

_So, he laughed his heart out._

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TBC

The pacing will get fast with time, I think.


	3. Chapter 3

Did I say daily updates? Sorry...

And yes, Tsuna is very much alive when James is reading this which is two years after the end of the series.

* * *

**Namimori's Mafia Boss**

Entry Three: Go Bald.

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Mochida Kensuke was someone who I tended to avoid, mainly because he's kind of a bully and he knows kendo, a very combination for a loser as myself.

But then Mochida was outraged because I, apparently, insulted Kyoko-chan by confessing to her while being half naked. He declared war against me (or in his case, a kendo fight) and wanted us to have a duel, the prize being Kyoko-chan.

To be totally honest with you, the guy was kind of an idiot.

Kyoko-chan was understandably mad because of Mochida's proclaims, seeing that many had to stop her from giving him a well-deserved whack on the head.

After hesitating for a while, I finally decided to just be brave and stood in front of Mochida, about to fight in a duel I know I'm going to lose.

But Reborn was there and so, he shot me.

I should note that one of the weirdest things I did while I was in Dying Will Mode was getting on top of Mochida and ripping his hair out of his head.

He became bald as an eagle.

I still wonder why I didn't fight him using kendo.

Was I jealous of his hair or something?

* * *

_"That is kinda strange..." James mused._

_"What a weird story."_

_That didn't stop him from continuing it though._

* * *

TBC


End file.
